How I Rediscovered Myself as a Mom: Navigating Through Life's Ups and Downs
A questions that i have been pondering on since the age of 20.
I have always considered myself to be a straightforward, minimalistic, and girly person. However, lately, I have questioned whether I know myself. I have been struggling to understand my personality for the past six years. Everything I thought I knew about myself is now irrelevant. When I had my first child, I experienced a breakdown, not the kind where I felt like I was losing my mind, but the kind where I realized that I didn't know myself and I had just brought a child into the world who also wants to know who I am. I thought I knew what I wanted when I was sixteen, but my plans changed.
I have always been a responsible child, never misbehaving and always getting good grades. I was a bit of a loner until my junior year in high school, when I joined ASB, the dance team, and made a group of friends that did everything together. But everything changed after I graduated and moved from California to Iowa with my partner. I wasn't scared of the change, but what came after rocked my world. I'll talk about that later.
Once I had my child, I became hyper-focused on being the best mom and human I could be for him. I wanted to ensure that he grew up knowing he was excellent, loved, and celebrated. In doing so, I forgot to extend that same love and care to myself. I went through the darkest period of my life while creating the brightest moments for my son.
That was four and a half years ago. Now, with a second child, I have entered the second healing phase and applied it to my life. To sum it up, I am in the process of figuring things out.
As a fellow anxiety-filled being, I want to let you know that it's completely okay to feel frustrated with your daily routine, to yearn for more than a thirty-minute break from your partner without the kids, and to have moments when you don't feel comfortable in your skin. I understand that being a mom can be challenging sometimes, and I'm here to tell you that you're not alone. I intend not to make this blog a mission statement but to share my thoughts and feelings, hoping it'll help other moms realize that we're all in this rollercoaster ride together.
As mothers, we often focus on being the best we can be for our children. But it's vital to remember to extend that same love and care to ourselves. Sometimes, it's okay to feel frustrated and unsure of ourselves, but we must keep moving forward and figuring things out. Remember, we are not alone in this journey. Let's support each other and enjoy the ride together.
Stay tuned, Mama!
